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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Problems with Perfection.....

Okay, I know I have a problem. I have many problems :), but the one that I have been struggling with lately is that I am so hard on myself. I don't know where it stems from - I'm sure from my childhood. No matter what I do I always feel like I can't do something good enough. I get so frustrated with myself because of this issue. I know they always say that the first step is acknowledging that you have a problem. Allright, got that part down. Now I just need to learn how to fix it!!

I could do ten things really great in a day and accomplish a lot, but it's that one thing that I can't accomplish that kicks me in the tookus! My poor husband spent hours talking with me about this very topic on Sunday night, poor man. He had a bunch of work he had to do but he tried to help me instead. What does he SEE in me??

Let me give you an example. I teach design classes online for an art school. I have several students in each class that are obviously just there to get through the class and have no care whatsoever about learning the material. It's pretty obvious that they do not read my comments and are not trying to comprehend the course work. This really gets to me. I have tried everyway that I can think of to get them to care about their studies and to put forth effort but they just don't want to do it for whatever reason. I know this is my issue. Some people just don't have the same drive and determination. You think I would get that and just move on, but I can't. My husband says that my problem is that I expect a lot from myself and therefore, I expect a lot from them. I do and I do! I expect that if they are there to learn that they should try as hard as they can. Believe me when I say I KNOW they are not trying as hard as they could. Okay, I get it. But how do I stop letting this get to me and just accept it?

I don't have a problem if student's try to get the material and it isn't their forte. Sometimes that is certainly true. Not everyone is meant for a particular profession. But they could give it an honest try. Work at it, read the material, incorporate comments and feedback into their work and make an effort. That is all I'm asking for. But for those that don't - I need to get past it and move on. Otherwise it really stresses me out.

I am sorry to be such a downer today. I just had to vent a bit and get this off my chest. Sometimes working from home can be so isolating and you need to air some of that laundry. Whew......I do feel better just unloading some of this here.

Here's to a great Tuesday to everyone :).


Chrissy said...

I don't know if I can be much help, but I understand how you feel! Especially as a teacher, if you are putting so much work into something, you would expect that your students should as well. Try not to take it personally at least! I sometimes feel the same way. I once took a personality/career match profile and was told that I find fault and can't work well with people who are unwilling to put effort into things, are unreliable, or don't do what they should. It stuck with me because it's so true! Definitely one of the things I dislike most in other people. It's hard to respect someone who you know isn't doing what they should. It is hard to just accept. I'm sure teachers deal with that a lot though.

Kelly said...

Oh how awful. That would make me crazy too. I'm sure on some level you realize that this isn't something you should take personally. Like anything you have no ability to control, you're just going to have to let go of this one and focus on the things in your life that you can change. Lazy people sure are annoying though, aren't they?

Moms At Work said...

I can totally relate! I'm a perfectionist and it's hard for me to understand those folks who just cruise through life not really caring.

Christie Lanning said...

I know how hard it is for you to go through that. Realize that it is not saying something about you, but rather about them. Also, not everyone is a perfectionist, or even has high standards. So many people just do not have a strong work ethic. Just take a deep breath, and realize that you have to allow others to have their own way. You're doing an awesome job (I am 100% positive of this), and if they aren't that is THEIR issue. Know that YOU are doing your best.